best week ever!!! on tuesday after work we packed ourselves up and hit the road for the coast, the car ride was aweosme, singing along, hyped, feeling awesome and free! had a great time at the coast, swimming, reading magazines on the beach, eating fresh prawns on the beach, sitting on our deck as the sun goes down, getting drunk on cruisers, drinkopoly, good times. we paid the price for our frivolity with hideous sunburn, perhaps the worst i've ever got but as the sunburn has started to heal i couldn't care less about and i remmeber only the highlights (of which there were many)

yesterday was also foreshore! it was so fucking good. got high, danced around like crazy people, drank, sat on the hill, caught up with people i haven't seen in forever. my old family, meaning people like simo schorno brit stevie em tim etc, people who i used to see every day when i was at the boys house and now never get to see, i miss them. Yuri was there, which was kinda gay, but luckily i didn't have to see him hardly at all i got to spend lots of nice time seeing everyone. miss them alot.
so yeah awessommme week, on a minor downer, the feelings i thought i had escaped when yuri and i first broke up are haunting me a little. it's not that bad, it's just that it is getting harder to be without him instead of easier.

I'm going to go clean my room, clean myself up all nice and pretty, clean the bathroom and then relax with glamour and maybe some naughty food to cheer myself up :)

i feel sad and sick and shaky and i really miss yuri.
i hate the realisation of how freaking in love with him i still am. seeing his name on the fb chat screen sent my heart racing and the adrenaline going insane. of course he didn't say anything.

occurance in the rumpus room a few minutes ago.

this is what just transpired:

I was walking down to the rumpus room to get a dvd to watch while i clean my room. I walk in, and see some gigantic winged bug attempting to fly but just sort of scootering around on the ground.
Me: Mum. get in here. there's a weird bug!
mum: where?
me: right there! get it, it keeps trying to fly
mum goes to get dustpan and brush, the bug achieves lift off.
me: holy fuck mum it's flying it's flying! (run out of the room)
....
me: just smash it out of the air!
mum successfully hits it to the ground, sweeps it up and takes it outside.
me: we nearly died bick. we could've died.

i hate bugs.

lets go fly a kite.

I'm finished! school can suck a dick!
last night was awesome, elk mel and i had a sleepover, consumed alot of champagne, watched gossip girl, went for night time walks, took turns having rides on rowans motorbike :D

going to see twilight soon and then possibly going out. So much is happening soon! It feels good to be free, but i have been feeling a little worse about yuri lately. I just miss him. And it's hard sometimes. But i'm going to be fine, as i will be keeping busy.

It was so hot today at work, but luckily we stayed inside and ate lifesavers icy poles mmmmmm.
I'm also loving the transition to summer food. For the last couple of nights we've just been having salads and cold meats and yummy summer fruits mmmmm

I don't know what to wear tonight. We're going to the movies, but we're possibly going out afterwards, so i need to wear something kind of ok :S what to do? dilema.

holiday skin.

sigh i had a great weekend! i suck at life and study. I should not have been having a good time.

On sunday i went shopping with ash for her formal dress and we found a really pretty, very her dress.

then in the arvo i read another book, josh picked me up and got goodburys and then i stayed up till 1am reading my book till i'd finished. Now today i was supposed to be starting some serious study, but the BITCH classics teacher didn't record the structure etc for the exam. she can't do that! i legitimately cannot come to classics lectures because i have work. Fucking bullshit. Luckily I'm facebook friends with a girl in my class so i've asked her about the structure etc and hopefully she'll get back to me soon :S

can't wait for jurassic house party, pauls party, seeing new moon! finishing exams and COAST. wednesday. sweet sweet day of freedom!

Now I'm going to clean my room and paint my nails and hopefully by the time i'm done erin will have replied.

whatever you like.

Unfortunatly, I had a really nice day today. I say unfortunatly because I was supposed to be having a horrible day of study and death, but instead I:

Woke up early, read my book for a bit, did my makeup properly, cleaned my room.

met mel at school after her exam and bought new swimmers in woden, booked tickets for new moon.

got home, read my book all afternoon until i finished it now (at 6;10pm) generally relaxed and felt good about myself.

Also the book was about new beginnings, falling in love again etc etc so very inspiring and happy :)

If it's meant to be...

had a pretty great couple of days. I messaged yuri for his birthday and it felt really good and mature and just nice. still miss him.

gossip girl this week was the BEST ohhhh my god. mel and i were watching it and we were leaping all over the bed shrieking and grabbing each other at the suspense lol good times

have another shitty boring weekend of study ahead of me, but after that is sweet sweet freedom from wednesday! oh my god cannot wait. Today I had an exam (english i raped it :P) then went to work, then washed my car. I'm so awesome.

think i'm hanging out with ash tonight but i'm getting kinda sleepy so not sure. I have a desire to call mel and hassle her cause i'm bored but i shall refrain as she is trying to study.

Also got a new job! working at epic promotions like mel. I think doing wine tastings etc.

I want to be vanessa. Or I'll take being jenny. or even serena in season one. I want new clothes! cannot wait to be relaxing on the beach.

The photo is what i'm dreaming about right now. Perfection.

when i moved to this neighbourhood the only thing that cost twenty bucks was a handjob from a tranny.

It's Yuri's birthday tomorrow, and so i have been thinking about him quite alot. Also i am watching sex and the city and carrie and big is totally me and yuri. so many parrallels it's crazy.

Reading Jane's blog about new years etc made me think about some resolutions of my own, althouhg luckily i feel like i'm doing pretty ok. basic/classic ones being

1. sticking to the healthy eating and the regular exercise. i'm hoping i can become one of those excercise junkies before school starts again

2. being more social at uni next year, making some more uni friends, trying to extend my social network.

but basically all i want is serenity and contentment. I have happiness, and a great life, but i am not content, and that is about yuri. I don't have any great desire to travel, (although i would like to hit europe) I'm really loving my wardrobe/hair right now (well not so loving the hair, but loving it ok and excited about it being long) I would like to move out although i have a great relationship with the fam and accept that my money issues will not really stretch that far at the moment. So basically that leaves one area of my life. I know i can't force myself to try and get over him, or get too worked up with paranoia about his life, so i still just want contentment.

This is why over this year I have shifted from team edward to team jacob. Edward is drama. Jacob is stability, love, affection, contentment. All the good things, not the bad. Not having drama isn't a bad thing.

oh that's what gay is? oh i could totally get into that.

tomorrow i have a nice day at home planned, i shall do some washing, do some cleaning, and read the eyre affair. ahhh domestic bliss.

Vrocks party on the weekend, went with mel and elk talked trash about mtv. Just been hanging out with melon and elk, we went to a semi bbq at alexs, although none of us ate the meat, so really we sat in the backyard eating dips and chatting. it was good.

elk came over on sunday (my one designated study day) and painted paintings with steph on the back deck. so naturally i was distracted and did not much of anything. However, i had the exam today so that's over.

I was very drained after exam and just lay around, went to work, got pissed off at everyone, came home and lay around. Luckily mel came over and perked me up with talk of beaches, aussie bikinis, foreshore, new years. pretty much everything good is coming up. i was going to go shopping with melon for my aussie bikini on wednesday but melon will have to study now cause of exam revelation, so maybe i shall go myself. or actually, i might save it to buy for myself after exams as my treat. I'm going to veg out in front of family guy till i fall asleep now.

I'm walking on sunshine.

Things I did today:

Watched some of season one of gossip girl

cleaned my room

painted my nails

Things I did NOT do today:

Study.

I'm dead. But at least I have lots of pretty things to look at. Mum picked me some sweet peas :)

brussels griffon.

this is the dog i am getting.

i am not a whore. but i like to do it.

Haven't updated in a while, just haven't been bothered to write anything.

Tomorrow is the races :D i am so excited. everyone is going to look so freaking cute! I am avoiding doing exam study and that is what brings me back to blog. What else have I been doing? Hmmm can't remember, it's been quieter lately, as everyone is settling into exam hibernation for the next couple of weeks.

The weather has been super awesome though, and the lightening of the weather equals a lightening of my mood. With the rise in temperature i feel like i have lost ten kilos of baggage, and are just frolicking around easiely, nothing seems to matter as much, nothing seems to have consequences. I feel easier about yuri. Not trying to force myself to get over him, or not think about him, has taken the pressure off and making it alot easier. Jane, put up the freak halloween photo of you in the background :P

I think I am going swimming in Josh's pool this arvo after work which will be fabulous after i swelter at work soon. Rowan came round yesterday, we just hung out was very nice. Saw t last week. And schorn and tam, catching up with everyone lol. Cannot wait for exams to be over.

happiness :)