they are night zombies.

So I want to write about the whole weekend, but it was just too fucking crazy/intense/messed up.
I'll try.
Thursday night the girls were hitting the town again :) me elk mel and jane all started hoeing into the vodka and champers and getting pretty, adi came and picked us up, so far, so awesome. We hoed around for a while, attempted to hit academy before midnight (so free entry) but the door bitch made us pay because we arrived at the front of the line at 12.04. bitch.
Acads was going off, we danced around like crazy people, drank, danced, drank, danced danced. Then we decide to go outside for some fresh air, and who should be out there but yuri.

He asks to talk to me, i reluctantly agree and we just talk for ages, about how he wants me back, etc me voicing concerns/laying into him for the shit he's done. He asks if we can talk about this in the park closer to our homes, so i agree, as the talk has got me out of feeling like civic anyway. When we get home he decides that he is going to sleep on my porch all night (it was freezing) to prove he wants to get back with me. It was a really surreal intense night and when i woke up, he had sent me a message saying "i'm still on the porch and i want you back" we talk more all day, but at like midday yuri has these crazy mood swings and starts freaking out about the future. This causes him to come to the realisation that drugs and alcohol has actually changed who he is. Which he'd never admitted/realised before. At the end of the day we decide to take it really slow and go on a date on sunday.

On saturday melon came over to watch the grand final, we didn't watch much, just ate, hung out etc it was too intense for me to watch. I watched the last half after she left. Then I had claire's 18th so i went over to Brit's to get ready with her, ash and mikky.
I looked really cute, and I think maybe tomorrow I will write another post detailing the party becaues it was fun and lots went down.

Long story short: I got incredibly drunk and messaged Yuri saying "do you really want to get back with me? do you really want this to work?" or something like that, and he replied "seriosuly, I'm too fucked up, i'm racking coke and drinking booze and i just can't stop myself, I'm fucking everything up and I just can't stop". Cue my hysterics and untimely exit from the party.

I called him when I got home and he was like "i need to drag myself out of this mess, my life is just fucked, you should just get away from me, I don't want to hurt you anymore" And I was liek "I WAS not talking to you and you slept on my porch! you forced me to reconsider and I wanted to reconsider and you just snatched it away. You mustn't care about me at all/You mustn't love me etc etc" To which he replied that that is not how it is, he is just too screwed up and he needs to sort himself out first.

So: To Summerise. Obvisouly I would prefer if he had not come back into my life at all, but at the same time, he is obviously going through some fucked up shit, and it is nice that he doesn't want to drag me through it. (When he said this, I pointed out he had been dragging me through it, but he said he didn't want to but again couldn't stop himself cause he still loves me) Also it took us talking etc for him to realise he has a problem, which is only a good thing.
If he actually can sort himself out I would think about dating him again because it shows commitment and maturity on his part. But who knows how long that will be? But because he has suggested that is what he would like to happen I will not just be able to forget about him, no way. Also there is the possibility that he will get clean and not want to be with me anyway. It's fucked.